|
An
excerpt from Lewis Shiner's
|
Lewis
Shiner interview |
| Say
Goodbye |
|
1: The City
Signs and portents
It
was my first Friday night in LA," Laurie says in her press kit for the album.
"I was stuck on the Santa Ana Freeway, thinking about buffalo. A vast single
herd covering the earth from one horizon to the other, the way they used to,
placid, lost in their own grassy thoughts, then suddenly careering off at top
speed, all of them at exactly the same time.
"So there I was,
cheek to bumper with all the other cloven-tired, sun-roof-humped, klaxon-horned
metal ungulates, stalled on the concrete plains, watching the hot breath steam
from their tailpipes, when the sky blew up.
"I didn't know
if it was terrorists or nuclear war or the Big One that was supposed to drop
us all in the Pacific, but it was clearly the end. Huge concussive explosions
and fat orange cinders trailing fire out of the sky. Ashes on the windshield.
Cars veering off onto the shoulder and me pretty sure I could feel the freeway
shake under my Little Brown Datsun. I kept driving, though, because, really,
this was what I'd been waiting for all my life: Armageddon.
"Anyway, I finally
rolled my window down and looked up and realized it was nothing but the fireworks
show at Disneyland. They launch the rockets, apparently, a few feet from the
highway and the damned things go off right there over the cars. Some freak atmospheric
condition was pushing the debris back down before it completely burned up.
"So that's where
'Just Another End of the World' came from. That thought: If this is really the
end, I won't have to do laundry tomorrow. My rent check will never bounce. Of
course it was just one more false alarm, not even a sign from God, only a sign
from Unca Walt, in his block of ice under the freeway, and it had no more cosmic
message to convey than 'Hey, look at me.'
"Though I will
say this. Once I was over my initial disappointment, it was a hell of a show.
The human mind can't leave something like that alone. It's always going to read
signs and portents wherever it can. And I remember sitting straight back in
my seat, both hands on the wheel, and saying, 'Thank you. I'm glad to be here.'"
The Silk and Steel
I meet "Fernando"
-- not his real name -- in a bar called the Silk and Steel on Sunset Boulevard.
It's Monday, the 11th of November, 1996, and he is my first official interview
for the book.
It's chilly and
overcast in LA, and even the clouds seem to be rushing off to somewhere important.
I'm easing into the writing process by going to the people that are publicly
available, the ones that I know will be willing to talk to me. "You'll recognize
me," Fernando has promised on the phone, and he is right. He's six-foot-three,
lavishly tattooed, pierced four times in the right ear, five times in the left,
once in the left nostril. He's shaved his head, but not recently, and he has
a soul patch beneath his lower lip.
"This is where
it went down," he says, in a somewhat high-pitched, nasal voice. The walls and
ceiling are painted flat black, standard decor on the Strip, and the brown shag
carpet has mostly unraveled. Afternoon sunlight trickles in the open back door
where a kid in shorts and a baseball cap wheels in cases of beer. It's the kind
of place that needs its darkness. "I thought you should see this," Fernando
says, "because it's the first place Laurie sang in LA. It was an open mike night,
like they do every Monday -- they'll be doing it again tonight. I put her and
Summer together that same night."
Fernando works
in one of the better-known Hollywood music stores. "You get jaded," he says
about the job. "A lot of the big touring acts come in when they're in town.
I've met Clapton, Page, both Van Halens -- all three if you count Valerie. All
the hot studio guys, of course. I must see a hundred kids like Laurie every
year, coasting into LA in cars that barely made it over the mountains, desperate
for a break. They've read about the Viper Room in Rolling Stone or they've noticed
the LA addresses on the backs of their CDs, or they've seen palm trees in too
many MTV videos."
He met Laurie in
June of 1994. She'd only been in LA for a week. "How it happened was, she called
the store looking for a four-track recorder. I sold her the same Tascam I sell
all the wannabe singer-songwriters, on special for one-ninety-nine. I remembered
her, one, because she was cute -- skinny and intense, with this bright reddish-purple
hair that was kind of eighties retro. Also she's one of those people that are
a little more, I don't know, tuned-in or something. Like they're sucking everything
in through their eyes. So when I ran into her a couple of days later at the
Silk and Steel, it only took me a minute to place her."
Fernando might
forget a face, but never a guitar. Laurie's, he recalls, was "a cream-colored
mid-sixties Strat, very clean," but not suitable for the Unplugged-style format
of the Silk and Steel. Fernando found her "trying to reason with the bartender,
not upset or anything, just like, 'I can't understand why playing an electric
guitar in a folk club is still an issue 30 years after Dylan played Newport.'
As if this kid behind the bar had any idea what she was talking about. She was
very naive that way, she didn't understand that places like this aren't about
music, they're about the acoustic guitar as fashion statement."
Fernando introduced
her to his girlfriend, Summer Walsh, who'd been on the LA folk scene for ten
years. "Next thing you know Summer's offered to loan out her Martin D-15. We
all sat together, and when Summer got up and sang I could see Laurie was really
blown away. Have you heard Summer sing? You know she wrote that song on Laurie's
album, 'Tried and True?' She is so awesome, man. She could be where Alanis or
Joan Osborne is, and she would be if-- " He shakes his head and shifts around
in his chair. "Don't get me started on record companies."
After Summer's
set Laurie's confidence seemed to falter. "Summer really wanted to hear her,
so she pulled a couple of strings and got Laurie up on stage before she could
chicken out. Laurie, she was nervous at first, but she did good. And her songs,
you could tell she knew what she was doing. They were structured, you know,
nicely put together. And hooks that fully dug into your brain.
"She was quiet
sitting around the table, but onstage she had this, like, eagerness. Like at
the end of each song she couldn't wait to get to the next one. It was some very
contagious shit."
Afterwards the
three of them went down the street to the Rock and Roll Denny's, a musician's
hangout for decades. "You could really see the energy happening between Summer
and Laurie. It's like...it was enough for me to have done that, to have introduced
them. I'm happy just being around the buzz, I don't have to be the buzz, if
you know what I mean.
"Not Laurie, though.
She had that bone-deep hunger. I liked her from the first, but that hunger made
me scared for her too."
Miracle on San
Vicente
Bobbi DeAngelo
is in her forties, her blonde hair a little brittle, her voice rough from chain
smoking. She -- "and the Bank of America, honey" -- own the Bistro d'Bobbi on
San Vicente. It's upstairs in a small, exclusive strip mall: burgundy window
treatments, tasteful neon signage, tiled balcony with umbrella tables. Inside,
behind the garlic and oregano, you can smell the yeast in the dough that waits
on steel trays near the oven. A hostess in black pants and a tux shirt shows
me to a small, cluttered office next to the kitchen.
The restaurant,
Bobbi explains, grew out of her divorce settlement from "a very rich asshole."
She lights a Virginia Slims menthol and says, "Sooner or later I'm sure I'll
get in trouble for it, but until somebody puts a gun to my head, I'm not hiring
any men here. No offense, doll. We're a self-sufficient little matriarchy, and
Laurie fit right in. All the girls have their noms du pizza -- builds morale,
keeps a little extra distance between them and the customers, like this joke
we're all in on. We knew her here as Gladys."
Bobbi seems to
remember every detail about each of her girls, as if they were her daughters.
"She was pretty desperate when she first came in. She'd been looking for work
for a couple of weeks, and it was all either fast food or topless or prep work.
I hired her on the spot and put her to work that night. She used to say it was
her Miracle on San Vicente.
"She was good with
people, got along with the other girls, hell, I didn't even know she was starstruck
until the week before she quit. She'd been with us four months, and then one
night she started writing the words to a song on the back of one of her tickets
and that's how I found out."
Bobbi knows firsthand
about being starstruck. "I arrived here in 1966, with a few hundred thousand
others. I was just 18 and I knew in my heart of hearts that Destiny had her
hand on the telephone, about to dial my number. I was something then, you wouldn't
believe it to look at me now. Smart, good-looking, ambitious. I stuck it out
for two years. All I ever got were walk-ons, which I took, and propositions,
which I didn't. Finally I ran out of money and hope and I went back to North
Carolina and married Michael, who was in love with me in high school and incidentally
heir to a textile business. I hated myself for being a failure and a quitter,
and I drank for a while and slept around a little bit and I spent more than
one afternoon with a bottle of pills in front of me, wondering if I might just
take them all.
"Everybody in the
world -- my various agents, my roommates, producers, casting directors, strangers
on the bus -- all of them had reasons why I wasn't famous. Maybe I had no talent.
Maybe I had too much. Maybe I needed bigger breasts. Smaller breasts. A different
agent. To stop changing agents. The one thing nobody could accept -- least of
all me -- was that it might not be anybody's fault at all."
She seems eager
to distance herself from the 18-year-old beauty that I can still clearly see
behind the makeup and the cigarette smoke and the sardonic tone. "If it's nobody's
fault," she says, "then everything is random. It's out of control. It means
being a star doesn't really prove you're a good actor, or beautiful, or, God
help us all, lovable.
"I told all this
to Gladys -- to Laurie, I mean. Not because I thought it would change her mind,
but so that when it happened to her she would maybe feel a little less alone.
She said something about how I hadn't turned out so badly. But the truth is
I set myself up to get hurt when I was just a kid, and by the time I got over
being hurt it was too late to do anything else. Like get an honest job, say
waiting tables. Like go to college in my spare time, write some film criticism,
get my jollies at some local theater if I absolutely had to be on stage.
"I could have saved
my breath, of course. She was convinced it was all going to be different for
her, even if she had the decency not to say so. We all want to think that, don't
we?" Bobbi grinds out her cigarette. "Then, a year or so later, there she is
on VH-1. You could have knocked me over with a feather."
Over the hills
and far away
On Tuesday afternoon
I take 101 north, over the Hollywood Hills to Ventura Boulevard, then make my
way back uphill to Sunshine Terrace. I park across the street from 11163, a
wood-sided bungalow nestled in front of a row of apartments. The air is vastly
sweeter here than on Ventura, and magnolias and fruit trees and cedars arch
over the street. I get out and stretch my legs, hearing the ticking of the rent
car's engine, the low murmur of a TV, and distant, childish laughter.
I take a few pictures
of the front of the house. Someone is obviously living there; they've put out
a blue patio umbrella, a single lawn chair, pink mums in a bed along the front
wall. I walk down the driveway a few feet, hoping for a glimpse of something
beyond the louvered wooden shutters that line the windows. The high-pitched,
snorting laugh comes again, and then a woman's voice says, "If you're looking
for Laurie, she doesn't live here any more."
I turn to see a
woman in her late twenties, bending over to pick up a puckered beach ball. She
has long red hair, gray jeans and a pink sweater. From behind the house a girl
of about four, dressed in brand-new overalls, runs out saying, "Who you talking
to, Mommy?" Seeing me, she is instantly paralyzed by self-consciousness.
I wiggle my fingers
at the girl, explaining to her mother that I know Laurie is gone, that I am
writing about her. I go back to the car for a paperback of my latest book to
provide credentials.
"I'm sorry," the
woman says, turning it over in her hands. "I'm afraid I never heard of you."
A light breeze animates her fine red-gold hair, trailing a wisp of it across
her face.
"Don't worry. Millions
haven't." I convince her to keep the book, which I autograph, and that earns
me a proper introduction. Her name is Catherine Conner, originally and intermittently
of Salem, Oregon. Shannon, age four, is by this point hiding behind her mother
and unwilling to shake hands, even when asked in a very nice Donald Duck voice.
Eventually Catherine
invites me in. Over a glass of herbal iced tea, with Shannon watching The Rescuers
Down Under in the next room, Catherine talks about meeting Laurie. "I used to
see her come home from work in like her uniform thing, with her hair up and
the black pants and the white shirt, and then a few minutes later there would
be this electric guitar playing. Not loud or anything, but I always knew it
was there. I thought it was so cool, and so one morning when I heard her I went
over and I was just like, 'Hi, I'm your neighbor.'
"I mean, my own
life is such a mess. I spent four years at Oregon State without ever fully getting
a handle, you know? Came to LA to see the bright lights, got pregnant by this
underemployed actor, and now I'm living from day to day on temp work and child
support. And here's Laurie, so full of ambition and working so hard for it,
day and night, you know?"
As I listen I can
tell that Laurie's life has became more real to Catherine than her own. It's
a feeling I can relate to.
"I would go see
her sometimes when she played," Catherine says, "and sometimes we would stay
up late afterwards, just talking all night long." The memories light up her
face, and she's happy to go into Laurie's background. Some of it I've read or
heard about elsewhere, but many of the details are new.
"Her family is
basically her mom, who's divorced, and her younger brother Corky, who is this
kind of slacker screw-up. That's me talking -- Laurie always went the long way
around not to criticize anybody. She was also real close to her Mom's father,
who she always called Grandpa Bill. They used to go listen to jazz and stuff
when she was growing up.
"It was some friend
of her brother's who used to live in that apartment. He ran out of money and
was looking for somebody to take over the lease. And Laurie was living in San
Antonio with this creepy guy, and her brother was like, 'You have to do this.
It's a sign or something.'"
Laurie had been
going over the bank statements and mentally loading up her Datsun for a couple
of weeks. She was living in a rented apartment with rented furniture, and at
that moment her relationship didn't seem very substantial either. "Jack is like
this insurance adjuster," Catherine says, "good-looking from the picture I saw,
but not Mr. Sensitive. The kind of guy who takes you to a sports bar on a first
date, if you know what I mean?"
Catherine said
that Jack was stressed out at work, drinking too much, and staying out late
at clubs, "with Laurie or without her." When Laurie mentioned the merest idea
of a trip to LA, "Jack totally lost it. He took her guitar out on the back patio
and smashed it. She was laughing about it when she told me, this kind of nervous
laugh, but you could see that it scared her to even remember it."
Laurie ordered
Jack out of the apartment, packed up, and hit the road for Dallas, where her
father lived. "She talked about her father a lot. He was the reason she started
playing guitar in the first place." Laurie's father, Michael Moss, played with
a band called the Chevelles at Richardson High School in the mid-sixties. He
gave up the guitar when he married Laurie's mother and moved to San Antonio.
One Saturday when Laurie was in sixth grade her father came in from raking leaves,
got the guitar out of the closet, and started to play. Until that afternoon
she had never known what was in that odd-shaped tweed suitcase; when the guitar
came out, Catherine said, "it was like the sun coming up in the middle of the
night."
The guitar transformed
her father into a creature of glamour and mystery and Laurie wanted that change
for herself. She begged and pleaded until her father showed her a couple of
chords. Years of piano lessons had never spoken to her as persuasively as her
first five minutes of guitar, and "she would have kept playing all day except
her mother came in and gave her father a look. She said it was the kind of look
you would give your car as it was slowly rolling over a cliff."
It was apparently
a defining moment for her father as well. He moved to Dallas and filed for divorce
shortly thereafter.
"You know that's
her father's guitar she plays on the record?" Catherine asks. "She talked him
out of it on her way to LA. He didn't want to give it up, even though he never
played it. But he had to have seen how determined she was, how bad she needed
it."
She sighs and looks
into her tea. "She really loved that guitar."
Folkies
The Sly Duck Pub
has been a fixture in Santa Monica since the forties, though it didn't come
into its own until 1962, when it began to feature live music on its Tuesday
hootenanny nights. By 1963 it was serving espresso and music seven nights a
week, with big names like the Limelighters or Jim Kweskin on the weekends.
These days it's
reverted to its English roots, serving draft ale in tapered glasses and sporting
a menu of some 150 imports. The manager is a young, earnest man named Brad Mueck
(pronounced "Mick") who wears wire rims and blue oxford cloth shirts and whose
light brown hair is at least a third gone.
"If I'd had my
way," he says, "Laurie and Summer would still be headlining here as a duo every
Saturday." From his second-floor office above the bar, Brad can look out on
4th Street, which runs parallel to the ocean four blocks away. "This is not
the way that history shall remember them. But together they were far more than
the sum of the parts -- like Joan Baez and Mimi Fariņa, or the Weavers. Summer
has a fabulous voice and sincerity and an instinct for harmony. Combined with
Laurie's wit and energy and guitar playing, it was magic. Magic, pure and simple."
Brad had heard
about Laurie from Summer long before he ever saw her. "Then one night Summer
called to tell me she's going to get Laurie up to sing with her. Laurie had
apparently just written a song on the back of a ticket at some pizza place where
she was working and Summer was enthralled with it. Laurie was calling it 'Teen
Angel' at the time, though eventually she changed the title to..."
"'Angel Dust,'"
I say.
"Naturally. So
at the end of her first set Summer handed over the guitar and Laurie played
'Angel Dust.' If she was nervous I saw no sign of it. She connected with the
audience the way a candle connects with oxygen, and you could see the light
she gave off on all their faces. Summer kept her on stage and they did her song,
'Tried and True,' and dedicated it to Fernando, the married man that Summer
was seeing."
I can't stop myself.
"Fernando is married?" I ask.
"He was then. Still
is as far as I know."
"I'm a little stunned,"
I admit. "Summer seems smarter than that."
Brad leans back
in his oak swivel chair and takes a deep breath. "It's not a matter of intelligence.
You know that. You've interviewed other musicians. How many of them act in their
own best interests even a fraction of the time?"
"That's true of
most of us," I say carefully.
"But entertainers
are the worst. And the more damaged they are, the more we love them. Kurt Cobain,
Judy Garland, James Dean."
"Laurie Moss?"
"Oh yes. I can't
tell you the details of her particular history, but she was absolutely the type.
To flog my favorite hobby horse again, if all she truly cared about was a great
setting for her material, she had that in abundance with Summer. But the maximum
seating capacity here is one hundred and eighty. She needed more love than this
place can hold."
Laurie's guest
shot impressed Brad enough for him to offer her work. "I would say I used her
every week or ten days. She would do the opening sets at 9:30 and 11:30." Summer
at that point headlined every Tuesday, but it turned out to be almost three
months before the two of them wound up sharing a bill.
"I'm embarrassed
to say they came up with it on their own, with no prompting from me. Summer
would only tell me she had a surprise for me. The surprise was that they'd gotten
together over the weekend and rehearsed, and that Tuesday -- I'm going to guess
this was about late January of '95 -- they played all four sets together. Summer
was on acoustic, Laurie played electric through a little practice amp under
her stool."
For all his criticism
of entertainers, Brad's own emotions run very near the surface. He seems close
to tears as he describes their debut as a duo: "It was not polished. There were
songs of Summer's where Laurie just played guitar, and songs of Laurie's where
Summer just improvised a harmony part. Mistakes were made. But my god. What
I wouldn't give for a tape of that night."
After a moment
he pulls himself together. "Well. I may be slow, but I'm not stupid. I offered
them the headline spot on the next Saturday I had open. The irony, of course,
is that by that time Laurie had already met Gabriel Wong."
The session
"I'm a session
player," Gabriel Wong says on Thursday afternoon. "My heroes were always session
players, even as a kid. Sly Dunbar. Tony Levin. Session players sleep in their
own beds, they make top money, they don't get in a rut of the same set every
night."
Gabe's apartment
is small, clean as an operating theater, and organized for maximum efficiency.
He is sprawled at one end of a tasteful oak-and-taupe-cotton couch that is not
much larger than an armchair. He's wearing black jeans and running shoes, and
a black collarless linen shirt. He has a rangy build, cocoa skin, three-inch
dreadlocks, and lively eyes.
The night he met
Laurie he was backing a local favorite named Dick O'Brien, an irregular gig
always advertised as "Dick at the Duck." "Let me paint you a quick portrait,"
Gabe says. "Short, thin-skinned, hairy. Knows a minute or so of every song ever
written. Buys a drink for any woman who'll come up to the stage and show him
her bare chest. Thinks it's the height of humor to put a condom on a beer bottle.
"O'Brien doesn't
like me, but he needs me. His bass players have a tendency to quit on him. And
since part of his thing is doing instant requests from the audience, and since
it so happens that I myself also know a minute or so of every song ever written,
every now and again he finds himself paying me more money than he wants to."
Laurie was O'Brien's
opening act. "O'Brien's reputation had preceded him, and Laurie was headed for
the door before we even started, so that she wouldn't have to listen to us.
Somehow she got hung up talking to friends and heard the first song. It turned
out she really liked my playing."
In fact she liked
it so much that she made a poor first impression. "She came up after the set
and she was totally nervous," Gabe remembers. "She kept saying one wrong thing
after another. Like, she couldn't seem to process my name. I'm adopted, see,
and my dad was Chinese and my mother was Korean, so I've gotten a lot of shit
about my name all my life. And Laurie, you could see that she just couldn't
understand how a black man could be named Wong, but she was raised too nice
to come out and say it.
"My girlfriend
L'Shondra was there and she thought Laurie was some groupie or something and
kept trying to pull me away. But I had a feeling, and I waited her out until
she could get it together to say what she wanted."
What she wanted
was Gabe's signature style, which is heavily influenced by reggae and ska. "The
timekeeping is solid, but you leave out notes and move the accents around. It
makes the audience hear the music instead of the singer, which gives Dick O'Brien
apoplexy. I do it to him whenever I can."
In an interview
with the British magazine Q, Laurie describes Gabe's playing as "a taste behind
my tongue, a pressure in my solar plexus, a color behind my eyes. It wasn't
discovery, it was recognition. Yearning backbeat. Precise, articulate silences.
I'd been waiting for it all my life and probably several other people's."
"I hadn't seen
any of her set," Gabe admits, "so I was copping this real cool, superior attitude.
She said something like, 'I've never heard anybody play bass like you before,'
and I was like, 'Funny, that's what Dick kept saying all through the first set.
At least that was the gist of what he said.' And she was so sincere, it was
scary. She looked like she was about to cry and she said, 'As far as I can tell
Dick is a real asshole, and you're the greatest bass player I've ever heard.'
How are you supposed to respond to that? I just kind of said, 'Well, you're
at least half right.' So I introduced her to L'Shondra and said, 'This is Laurie
Moss. I'm the greatest bass player she ever heard.' It's really kind of amazing
that Laurie didn't turn around and walk away, I was being such a smartass.
"We all sat down
at her table and I asked her, since she liked me so much, if she happened to
have a record contract or anything. That was when she told me she was doing
a four-track demo in her living room and wanted me to play on it. She was real
embarrassed about it, but at the same time she had this absolute determination,
like, 'I have to ask this guy, so I'm going to do it, no matter what.'"
"What did you say?"
"I told her I'd
listen to her second set and see what I thought."
"And...?"
"She had something.
She's one of those people that seems too weird or intense until you see them
on stage. Then it all clicks. Good songs, you know, where everything dovetails.
Good with the audience. She got them to where they really liked her and were
pulling for her. And that was Dick O'Brien's crowd, total animals, not the kind
of house you'd want to show fear in front of."
After her set Gabe
told Laurie he'd do four songs for a hundred dollars. "Chicken feed, compared
to what I usually get paid. But she'd made me like her too."
Gabe kneels by
his stereo, which is almost at floor level. The much narrower shelves above
it are full of alphabetized CDs and neatly hand-labeled cassettes. He puts a
tape in the deck and listens intently to the faint hiss before the music. A
crisp electric guitar starts in the left speaker, then pans to the center as
the bass and the simple but effective lead guitar come in.
It's "Angel Dust."
Laurie's voice, a little tentative, with no reverb or sweetening, starts to
sing about stepfather's hands that make you burn with shame, the hot breath
of boys in crowded halls, the bright flash of gunfire on TV, the red-orange
coals of forbidden cigarettes on a window ledge in the sleepless night. Burning,
burning, turning these angel's wings to ashes.
It's not the bravura
performance on the album, but it makes up in intimacy what it lacks in raw power.
"It's all there, isn't it?" says Gabe, enjoying my surprise. "That's her playing
both guitars. From the start she knew exactly what she wanted. Not that she
acted like it when I first got there for the session."
She had the four-track
set up on the dining room table, along with headphones and lyric sheets with
the chords penciled in. "She said she wanted me to play the way Dick O'Brien
hated. I remember I made some feeble joke about her not having my parts written
out for me, and I swear she went so pale I thought she was going to pass out.
Nothing I said seemed to calm her down, so I went ahead and did a take.
"You have to understand,
I was wearing the only headphones, and I was plugged straight into the recorder,
so she had practically no idea what was happening. I had to turn my back to
her because she was starting to make me nervous. That's my first take you're
listening to right now.
"When it was done
I handed her the headphones and she listened to the song, just staring down
at that cheap veneer table -- apartment furniture, you know -- and this time
it's me who can't hear what's happening. All I know is she looks like her dog
just died. Then she turns off the machine and jumps up and goes into the kitchen.
So there I am, standing in the kitchen doorway going, 'Listen, if it's that
bad, I won't take your money.' She's actually crying into a dishtowel. I start
to apologize again and she looks up and says, 'No, it's perfect. I love it.'
"I said, 'Has anybody
ever told you you're a little weird?'
"'Actually, no,'
she says. 'I've done a pretty good job of hiding it until now.' Maybe she was
pulling my chain, but I believed her. I believed I had walked in on the first
stage of her metamorphosis from something kind of ordinary and simple into,
like, the refined essence of Laurie Moss. It was like this other person was
coming right out through her skin, and it was intensely, physically painful
for her.
"She said another
thing that really touched me. She said, 'Listening to that tape just now was
the first time, ever, that I believed something might happen with my songs.
That somebody might actually want to buy an album to listen to them.' And she
said it was me that made that happen, which is ridiculous, but it was still
a really nice thing for her to say."
They wrapped up
the other three songs in less than two hours. "One or two takes was all it took.
I mean, I still remembered them from hearing her play them, once, at the Duck.
She wrote me a check while I packed up, and I started out the door, but I couldn't
do it. I couldn't just walk away."
Suddenly Gabe switches
off the tape player, puts the tape back in the case, and hands it to me. "Here.
I've got another one. I can see that you really need to have this."
I protest unconvincingly
and then let him give me the tape. The insert, obviously produced at Kinko's,
features a fuzzy photo of Laurie, her name, and the title Red Dress of Grievances.
"Thank you," I say. "I can't tell you . . ."
"You don't have
to," he says. "I basically feel the same as you do about her. I was already
feeling it when I played on that tape. Which I guess is why I turned around
in her doorway and asked her what she was doing the next night. She stood there
and stared at me -- I mean, she obviously thought I was coming on to her. So
I said, 'It's not like that. It's just that there's some people I think you
ought to meet.'"
Copyright
1999 Lewis Shiner All rights reserved. Please do not reprint without permission.
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After surviving
being the "poster child for the evils of rock-and-roll," Lewis
Shiner has worked at a record store, flirted with the penurious life of
a full-time writer, and worked off and on at various computer jobs. In the meantime
he has built up a body of work prodigious in its range and increasing skill.
Perhaps it was growing up mostly in the South that gave him his way with storytelling,
but even when he was being hailed as a new-wave cyberpunk writer, the critics
couldn't help but be impressed with the writing underpinning the stories. His
novels have ranged from the Central America-based Deserted Cities of the
Heart, through the skateboard-themed Slam,
to Frontera, set on Mars. Music has come to the fore in his latest
couple of novels, Glimpses
and Say
Goodbye. Glimpses is a must for any pop music fan of the 1960s, and
Say Goodbye will tell you more about today's music scene than any amount
of MTV.
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