Eleanor
Lerman: I was doing some writing for a while-for example, I wrote a couple
of short stories, one of which, "Remedies," turns up in collections of gay
fiction from time to time. I also worked with my brother on some crime-related
books he's done. But mostly, no, I was just living my life -- the wrong kind
of life, as it turns out. I wish I could make my absence from struggling with
literature into something romantic (a crippling love affair, a decades-long
meditation on the cruel nature of art) but it's much more mundane: I was trying
to live what I thought was a normal life, but thankfully, I wasn't equipped
for that. It just took a very, very long time to turn back to what I really
wanted to do, and that was to write. The most interesting thing about the
whole experience is that I thought, for years, that I had absolutely nothing
to say, but as soon as I decided to try to write poetry again, wham -- I couldn't
stop. It surprised even me.
What kicks
off a poem for you? Is there one thing that always happens, or .. .?
It's usually
some sort of phrase that just occurs to me during the course of the day. If
I want to, I can sort of look for it, and if I look, I'll find it on a daily
basis, but I can also be more lazy and just wait. Here's an example: I was
on the subway the other day, riding from Manhattan to the Bronx, and there's
a place where the train goes above ground. I was passing by Yankee Stadium,
but looking over to the other side, to where there was a row of tenements;
it was late afternoon and the light was hitting the windows in a certain way.
And then I thought, Sunset hammers at the windows of Mt. Eden Avenue.
That's the kernel of a poem. However, I don't usually have a real idea of
what the poems is "about," or what it will make me feel, until I sit down
and try to fit the phrase into some sort of framework.
Are you ever
inspired from other forms of art?
Just
about anything can give me an idea, but even if the stimulus is external,
the idea only exists briefly on its own as something inspired "from the outside."
In the example I gave earlier, about "sunset hammers," it was afternoon light
that gave me the idea, but then I take that and kind of match it up with other
ideas, memories, feelings that are rolling around inside my psyche at the
moment. I would say that as a person, and as a writer, I am much more attuned
to and a product of culture-specifically, American culture-than I am to art.
Are you writing
pretty consistently?
I can't
stop. But it's a lot less crazy than it was when I was younger. I used to
feel that if I didn't write every day, I was falling down on the job. And
I never edited anything -- I just spewed it out, and there it was. Good or
bad, it was finished as soon as it was written. I'm more thoughtful now --
I hope! -- about what I'm doing, and I've become -- again, there's a big element
of hope here -- a good editor of my own work. I don't think that because I
wrote something, it's just fine as is. Now, writing a poem or a story is the
beginning of the process; there's usually some work to be done to fine-tune
the piece.
In your earlier
poetry the focus is more introspective. Was it a conscious choice to look
outside of yourself with these new poems?
The answer is probably that I'm older now and I don't think I'm as fascinating
as I apparently thought I was when I was younger. I don't see the world as
revolving around me and my feelings. I can see myself in a larger context
-- life, death, how many times a day to walk the dog, -- the usual stuff that
everybody has to deal with as time goes on. I'm still, of course, very concerned
with my personal fate, but I also realize that there are bigger things going
on and in order to understand anything about my life, I have to see myself
in relationship to all the things that have happened to me, to the world around
me, the things I've come to believe, the things I can't change. None of this
is very profound or original, but that's part of why I'm sure it's true; there's
very little I'm experiencing that most people my age -- I'm 49 -- wouldn't
relate to in one way or another.
A lot of your
earlier poetry seems to have come from anger or unsettled feelings. Can you
still relate to that poetry?
I'm so much
more amused now than I was when I was younger. (It wasn't politically correct
to find anything amusing when I was in my twenties.) But I can go back and
read what I wrote and understand how strong my feelings were -- they're equally
strong now, only not so angry. I've gone through some mighty struggles with
myself -- I'm sure we all have -- and while I'll bet there's a lot of trouble
still to come, I seem to be in a bit of a lull now, so I'm trying to enjoy
the calm. And be philosophical about whatever comes next.
This sense
of amusement is tangible in your poetry. Have you found this opens your poetry
to a different kind of reader?
I hope so. When I was younger, the reviews of my work usually referred to
them in some way as "X-rated." Right there, it seems like the people I'm writing
for are on the fringe, where I guess I was at the time. Well, I'm about as
far from the edge as you can get now, and I think people reading the book
are probably going to be in the same group -- they've got a history, but now
their big problems are getting to work on time, hoping that bump on their
shin isn't cancer. You know, the usual wonders that life hands you in middle
age.
How has the
world of poetry reacted to your return?
Well,
I wish I could tell you that it's been as much of an event as John Travolta's
return to the silver screen, but really, nothing much has happened except
that I've reconnected with people I thought I had lost back in the dim mists
of time. They're still around, I'm still around, and it's nice to fine old
friends have missed you.
Some of your
poetry seems to be almost a new type of American poetry, using tabloid ideas
or imagery...
As
I mentioned above, I know I have been shaped by the culture I've been raised
in and have absorbed every minute of every day for many years. When I was
a child, my family's life revolved around television; if we were outside,
we had the radio on. And the radio was an extraordinary conduit of culture
because you could experience something -- Roger Maris hitting the big home
run, Jean Shepherd talking about his Indiana childhood on WOR, late at night
-- in a way that was so intimate, it seemed to be directed specifically at
you, to involve you. And you could be somewhere else while this was happening-in
the park, in bed, half asleep-which somehow made it more magical, because
you had the sense of being safe in your familiar environment and yet experiencing
all these extraordinary things that came out you from the airwaves. And I
think because my parents didn't try to filter any of this-culture was good,
tv and radio were good -- I loved all of it unconditionally. I think also
because my grandparents were immigrants, but immigrants from the wave of people
who came here to escape things so terrible that they wouldn't tell you about
them, or even really tell you where they were from. (I come from a generation
of people who believed, for a long time, that there really was a place on
the other side of the ocean called "the old country.") So, the message
was, you're American, be glad you're American, enfold yourself in being American.
Well, that never stopped. So yes, give me a copy of People magazine
or a book about alien abductions and I'm happy-since those things now, too,
are part of American culture. I love it all.
What are you
reading?
Recently,
the new biography of Jung
(an anti-Semite, a racist and more than a little nutty: go figure); Guns,
Germs and Steel, The
Secret Pilgrim by John Le Carré, The
Dating Game (about the geologist Arthur Holmes), The
Elegant Universe by Brian Greene.
Do you have
any recommendations?
Leonard
Cohen and James
Tate, always. The best writing teachers I ever had. Though, I must say
that the one time I actually met Leonard Cohen, all he really wanted to talk
about was where he could find a good movie playing in New York. It actually
made me like him better -- he's not just the moody poet or an aesthete; like
everybody else, he wants to eat some popcorn and watch a good thriller.
Do you have
a good local bookshop?
Does anybody?
I thought the only place books were sold now was online
or in a mall. I'm not complaining though -- it's another cultural development
that's OK with me. I can always find what I want and if I order online, a
nice little box comes straight to my desk. It reminds me of how we used to
order books for our summer reading in the sixth grade. Books in boxes are
better than candy.