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Chapter
One
Wives
in the Ancient World
Biblical,
Greek, and Roman Models
Why
should we begin with biblical, Greek, and Roman wives? Because the religious,
legal, and social practices of those ancient civilizations provided the
template for the future treatment of married women in the West. The wife
as a man's chattel, as his dependent, as his means for acquiring legal
offspring, as the caretaker of his children, as his cook and housekeeper
are roles that many women now find abhorrent; yet certain aspects of those
antiquated obligations still linger on in the collective unconscious.
Many men still expect their wives to provide some or all of these services,
and many wives still intend to perform them. Those women today who rebel
against such expectations are, after all, rebelling against patterns that
have been around for more than two millennia. It's important to understand
what they are rebelling against, and what some of their antagonists-for
example, certain conservative religious groups-are trying to preserve.
Biblical
Wives
The
charter myth for the Judeo-Christian wife is the story of Adam and Eve.
Ever since their story was written into the Bible (around the tenth century
B. C. E.), Adam and Eve have been designated, first by Hebrews and later
by Christians and Muslims, as the progenitors of the human race. From
the start, Eve has been honored as the foremother of humanity and simultaneously
reviled as the spouse who first disobeyed God.
Initially,
as related in Chapter One of Genesis, God created man and woman at the
same time. "And God created the human in his image, in the image of God
He created him; male and female He created them."' But by Chapter Two,
a new version of human creation had found its way into Scripture, which
suggested that Eve was something of an afterthought. In this version,
God created Adam first, from the dust of the ground. Then, reflecting
on His handiwork, He declared: "It is not good for the human to be alone.
I shall make him a sustainer beside him."
The
subsequent account of Eve's creation from Adam's rib has fueled the age-old
argument that woman is intrinsically inferior to man and dependent on
him for her very existence. Even the Hebrew word icha, or "woman" -- from
man-suggests this one-down position.
Eve's
story then goes from bad to worse. She follows the serpent's advice to
eat from the Tree of Good and Evil, contrary to God's commandment, and
then tempts Adam to eat of it as well. These acts have permanent consequences
for both sexes: God punishes Eve by inflicting the pangs of childbirth
on all mothers and the burden of sweatproducing labor on all men. In addition,
it is decreed that the female will be in a subordinate position to her
husband for eternity. As God tells Eve after the Fall, "Your urge shall
be for your husband and he shall rule over you." Like most myths, this
one sought to explain a cultural phenomenon that had been entrenched for
so long it seemed to be the will of God.
But
there are other ways of looking at this story, which put Eve in a more
favorable light. Some feminists have suggested that Eve was not just an
afterthought, but an improvement over Adam. And even conservative commentators
recognize that she represented more than a biological necessity The notion
of the wife as a man's companion, "sustainer" or "helpmeet" (from the
Hebrew word 'ezer) has had a long and meaningful history among Jews and
Christians. Indeed, one later commentary in the Talmud (the code of Jewish
religious and civil law) sees the 'ezer as providing a moral check on
her husband: "When he is good, she supports him, when he is bad, she rises
up against him. And most of all, those arguing for the equal partnership
of husband and wife can cite the moving last words of Chapter Two of Genesis:
"Therefore does a man leave his father and his mother and cling to his
wife and they become one flesh."
In
biblical days, a Hebrew husband was allowed to have more than one wife.
For each, he had to give his father-in-law a sum of money, the mohar of
fifty silver shekels (Deut. 22:28-29) and then he had to provide for her
upkeep. This probably meant that only the affluent could afford more than
one. In addition, the groom or his family was expected to give gifts to
the bride and her family. Once the mohar had been paid and the gifts accepted,
the marriage was legally binding and the bride effectively belonged to
her husband, even if they did not yet live together.
A
bride's father would generally give her a chiluhim, or dowry. The dowry
consisted of material goods to be used in the future household, including
servants and livestock, and even land, as well as a portion of the mohar
that reverted to the girl "as payment for the price of her virginity.
The specific sum of the dowry would be written down in the marriage contract,
or ketubah, as well as the sum of money that would revert to the wife
in the event of divorce or widowhood. Jewish marriage contracts going
back to the eighth century B.C.E. Usually contained a ritual formula pronounced
by the groom to the bride in the presence of witnesses: "She is my wife
and I am her husband from this day forth and forever."
The
last stage of the marriage was the banquet that preceded the wedding night.
These festivities could go on for as long as a week, though the marriage
was consummated the first night. If, however, the husband found that his
bride was no longer a virgin, he could have her killed according to the
words of the Torah: "then they shall bring out the damsel to the door
of her father's house, and the men of the city shall stone her with stones
that she die" (Deut. 22:2 1).
Copyright
© 2001 by Marilyn Yalom. All rights reserved.
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